April Fools
by RainOwl
Summary: Somethings gone wrong a Duo appears to be in an alternate dimension. Funiers then it sounds, please read . . .


Rain: Okay, here's the deal. I was reading along at FF.net, minding my own business, when suddenly my muses decided they had had enough and hit me over the head with this idea.  
  
Hard.  
  
Though I was unconscious for several hours, I survived and have brought you this.  
  
Enjoy.  
  
Disclaimer: Do you think my muses would knock me unconscious if I owned Gundam Wing? NO! They'd respect me! So obviously I don't own Gundam Wing.  
  
{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}  
  
Prologue  
  
"April first? What's so special about that?" asked Heero, lifting an eyebrow at his grinning partner.  
  
"April first is April fools day." Explained Duo. "Pranking day." He added, for Heero's benefit.  
  
"Dinner!" yelled a voice from downstairs, and Duo raced off.  
  
Which is too bad.  
  
Because if he had stayed, he would have seen the thoughtful look cross the normally stoic pilot's face.  
  
{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}  
  
The Story  
  
(Duo's P.O.V.)  
  
I looked around myself, wary for no apparent reason.  
  
Everything is normal.  
  
Wufei is meditating. Heero is eating. Trowa is also eating silently, as usual, and Quatre is cheerfully reading the paper while he eats, as well.  
  
Nothing out of the ordinary. No reason for me to feel so . . . off.  
  
Taking a deep breath to steady my oddly frazzled nerves, I skipped forward, grinning, and said, "Hiya, Hee-chan! What time do we hav'ta leave for our mission?" and, grabbing the food Quatre offered me, I sat down and began eating, looking at Heero expectantly.  
  
Which is why I reacted so fast when I heard it.  
  
Now, there are some things out there a guy never expects to hear.  
  
Relena Peacecraft denouncing peace for war.  
  
Quatre Raberba Winner deciding to take over the world and start a massacre.  
  
Chang, Wufei informing the world that there was no such thing as justice and to do as they please.  
  
Trowa Barton screaming in fright from an animal.  
  
And Heero Yuy giggling.  
  
Which is exactly what he did then and there.  
  
So you understand why I choked on my food. And why I went into shock when Heero said, "What are you talking about, Du-chan?" and SMILED at me.  
  
I felt like a fish out of water.  
  
While I was gaping at him (I had managed to swallow my food) Wufei got up, stretched, walked over, smiled at them all, and sitting down, began eating.  
  
Now, by this time, I'm not shocked. Nor am I scared.  
  
Noooooooooooooo.  
  
I am, after all, Shinegami- God of Death. I laugh in the face of danger.  
  
So no, I wasn't afraid.  
  
I was terrified.  
  
Because, you see, the night before I had, once more, painted 'Nataku' pink.  
  
He should have been trying to kill me.  
  
Instead he was SMILING.  
  
"So, when are you visiting Meiran (Is that her name?)?" asked Quatre, apparently not noticing Duo's look.  
  
"I'm meeting her on Thursday, she wants to finalize the guest list." Wufei responded happily.  
  
"Wait, wait- Meiran, 'Fei's dead wife?" I demanded. I am now beginning to believe I have fallen into an alternate dimension.  
  
"Don't be silly, 'O." Said Trowa, rolling his eyes.  
  
Yeah, that's right, TROWA answered me. Get over it. Then help me get over it, too.  
  
Back to reality. Or this odd semblance of reality. Take your pick.  
  
"Make sure to invite Dorothy and Relena, they've been looking for wedding ideas." Heero advised.  
  
"Hee-chan, what are you talking about? You hate Relena! She follows you around! You know, the pink freak!"  
  
Heero looked at me, confusion written all over face. "What do you mean, Du- chan? Relena had a crush on me for a while, but then she and Dorothy got together, and now we're fine."  
  
"No, you're not! She stalks you! And what about our mission? And where is your LAPTOP?!" I nearly shouted, getting more and more freaked out. I couldn't help it.  
  
"Du-chan-" Heero began, even more confused.  
  
"Don't call me that! You hate nicknames!" I shouted, standing up.  
  
"Duo, calm down." Soothed Quatre. "Everything is fine."  
  
I took a deep breath and sat down, calming slightly. "Will someone please answer my question?"  
  
Wufei spoke up. "First of all, we can't answer your 'mission' question, because we don't know what you're talking about. And 'Ro doesn't have a laptop. Never has. Can't stand 'em."  
  
"What do you mean?" I asked dumbly. Heero doesn't have a laptop?  
  
Hee-chan shuddered. "I have a computer phobia all my life. You know that Du- chan."  
  
"Right. Of course I do." I have definitely have fallen into an alternate dimension. Still, best if I just play along.  
  
Did they just smirk? Nah, must be my imagination.  
  
Finishing off his breakfast I told them I was going for a walk, and was startled when they all told me to be careful, even Heero.  
  
It was actually very odd.  
  
Okay, time to get things in order. 1: Quat' and Tro' are a couple. 2: Hee- chan is acting really, really nice. 3: Fei's dead wife is alive and they're going to get married soon. And 4: we, apparently, have no missions.  
  
I shook my head as I broke into the abandoned hanger where we were keeping our Gundams, and waited for the dust to clear.  
  
Then I froze.  
  
Then I turned a full circle.  
  
Then I screamed.  
  
I screamed, and screamed, and screamed.  
  
By the time the others got here, my voice was hoarse from screaming, but I couldn't stop.  
  
"Duo, what is it?" asked Heero, as they surrounded me.  
  
"Heero, let me see your gun." I said, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him.  
  
Heero just looked confused. "What gun?"  
  
"Your gun! The one you always carry with you!" I desperately needed proof that the war existed. Normally, my Gundam would be enough, but . . .  
  
Let me ask you this.  
  
Where do you hide a forty foot robot where it's pilot can't even find it?!  
  
Heero was speaking. "Du-chan, I don't have a gun. I've never touched a weapon in my life. None of us have."  
  
And just like that, I was in shock.  
  
Now, it takes a lot to put me in shock, let me tell you. I hadn't been shock for years, but somehow, this had done it. I had forgotten what it felt like. It wasn't actually that bad of a feeling. Kind of a vague, dreamy feeling of watching the world go by.  
  
"Somebody start the party with out us?" and I absent mindedly turned to see who was talking. It turned out to be Relena and Dorothy.  
  
Even in my shocked state, I stared.  
  
And stared.  
  
And stared.  
  
My mouth dropped open and I continued to openly stare at the- THING around Relena Peacecraft's neck.  
  
A thing that most definitely did not belong around the former queen of the world's neck.  
  
A black collar like thing with the words 'property of Dorothy Catalonia- hands off'.  
  
While I was gawking, however, they were talking like nothing was wrong.  
  
"Good lord, Relena. Haven't you learned your lesson yet? You can't play poker!" said Heero.  
  
Dorothy smirked while Relena sighed and said, "I know, I know. I just can't help it! And I did win a few hands."  
  
Wufei rolled his eyes at Heero, while Quatre just shook his head.  
  
"Whether you win a few hands or not, it's still the end of the game that matters." Said Trowa calmly.  
  
"She'll never stop playing with me, and she'll never stop losing." Said Dorothy wickedly, still smirking.  
  
I watched this all with a kind of vague detachment, still rather dazed. I think they've forgotten all about me screaming, which is rather out of character, but that seems to be a theme around here . . .  
  
"Why don't we go back to the house?" suggested Quatre, and I nodded along with everyone else, trying not to draw attention to myself.  
  
As we walked into the house, I came to two conclusions.  
  
1: I am going crazy.  
  
And 2: it's impossible for me to figure this out. It doesn't matter if I turn it upside down, inside out or on it's side, it still doesn't make sense.  
  
Quatre was about to walk into the kitchen to get some drinks when suddenly Heero cleared his throat and tapped his watch.  
  
Quatre's eyes widened. "Oh dear! Is it twelve 'o clock already?" He looks worried.  
  
Wonder what's supposed to happen a twelve?  
  
"We'd better get going." Said Relena.  
  
"Yeah, sure." I muttered, following them without thinking.  
  
"Nervous?" asked Trowa kindly, making my head shoot up.  
  
"Wha-what?" I spluttered. Smooth, Maxwell. Real smooth.  
  
"Don't worry, everyone gets the jitters. I know I did!" laughed Quatre. What are they talking about?  
  
"Commitment is nothing to be afraid of." Added Dorothy. Commitment?  
  
"We'll see how calm you are when it's YOUR turn.' Spoke Wufei, while I just stared at them all in confusion.  
  
"I'll be cool as a cucumber." Said Dorothy hotly.  
  
"Suuuuuuuuuure you will." Said Heero, rolling his eyes.  
  
"We believe you." Added Trowa.  
  
Everybody laughed, and I felt rather left out. I still didn't know what they were talking about.  
  
Then we pulled up in front of a church, and everybody stopped talking while we walked inside after Quat' said something to the driver.  
  
Okay, I gotta tell you. You know that feeling I had when I went down to breakfast this morning? Yeah, that's back. In full force. And it brought some friends. Namely butterflies that have made a home in my stomach and a bullfrog which has gone and gotten itself stuck in my throat. So I'm not feeling too good.  
  
And a Gundam pilots instincts are always right.  
  
That's why we're alive.  
  
Now, as I watched, the girls went through to a different room after a, "No peaking, now!" and we went into a different room, which turned out to be a kind of changing room with several screens put up.  
  
Quatre hummed softly to himself as he shoved a neatly folded suit into my arms and pushed me behind a screen. "Hurry up and change!" I heard him call, as I changed.  
  
"Guys? What's going on?" I asked as I stepped out from behind the screen, to find all of them in suits as well.  
  
"Don't be silly, Duo." said Quatre, straitening my suit.  
  
I stared at them all, hard.  
  
"C'mon, O'. Don't tell me you forgot your own wedding?" laughed Wufei.  
  
Wedding?  
  
Wedding?!  
  
WEDDING?!  
  
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
I felt myself go pale, and I became kind of numb as they pushed me down the isle and stood him where I needed to stand, and then moved to the side, smiling.  
  
I just stared as first Relena, and then Dorothy moved down the isle to stand on his other side.  
  
At last came Hilde, looking very pretty in a wide spread bride-gown, with Sally Po holding her train.  
  
To me, it only seamed like a nano-second before Hilde was taking my arm, though I'm sure it was longer, considering they had to walk in time to the music, which was horribly slow.  
  
As I watched detachedly, Sally carefully settled her train and moved back to stand with Relena and Dorothy. The priest began to speak.  
  
"Lord, this young couple has come before you to be sealed in the bonds of love. Lord, may you and all those who watch keep their peace as these two promise in their own words to love forever." He stepped back.  
  
This is all wrong. Hilde is good friend, but nothing more!  
  
I watched in growing horror as she began to speak.  
  
Hilde smiled up at me. "Duo Maxwell, this is something I've wanted to since I first met you." Her smile grew. "I've known since you died my clothes purple, it would come to this." She stepped even closer.  
  
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!  
  
I closed my eyes.  
  
"Look at me, Duo."  
  
I did so.  
  
For a long moment we just looked at each other.  
  
Then she grinned evily.  
  
My eyes widened-  
  
SPLAT!  
  
FASH! FLASH! FLASH!  
  
I gaped at the eight laughing, camera wielding people through slightly blurred vision due to the cream pie now all over my face.  
  
Through his laughter Hee-chan managed to gasp two words.  
  
"April Fools."  
  
Ratz.  
  
{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}  
  
R&R please 


End file.
